I Surrender to the might of to horribly confusing female psyche. I may never truly understand women but it seem I am always going to be destined to lose them, right when it will hurt the most. First it was Beccy, which after so long a time I can finally say I've gotten over. Now its Janessa, whom took me some time to warm up to after what happened with Beccy, and right when I think she wont betray me like her, she does, and leaves me for another guy who I am sure will hurt her in the end, just like Beccy, who at the time left me for my best friend and ended up breaking up with him when he became an asshole.
It hurts more every day, it seems I will either continue to be hurt forever, or suffer this horrible pain inside, alone. You may say, oh its only two girls, and your only 20 years, and it is true, but I have felt love and it has been taken from me, it would be no different if I were 40, or 80, it hurts all the same, and what little faith I have ever had is fading.
I don't know what I will do now, I guess I should just concentrate on getting back to school, though it seems I can no longer put my heart into anything, though I will keep trying.
I'm sorry if this is yet again another depressing update on my situation, but I feel like I have to say it somewhere, somehow, or I'll keep bottling it forever and those who knew me a few years ago may remember what happens when I do that.